Update for #1208: “Question about Mom-friends being Too….’Mothering.'”
Once upon a time, a kind reader wrote in for advice about her friend, "Mary." Mary just cared about the Letter Writer SO MUCH, you see, that she felt entitled to advise her on any and all of life's...
View Article#1298: “Could my adult friend have been grooming me for years?”
The subject line says it all, for content warning purposes, though if it helps: The Letter Writer sent the person packing and it was not a *successful* grooming attempt.
View Article#1305: “Please help me close up the proverbial ‘woodwork’.”
"Say, Old Bean, it was really fun to have sex for a while, but I'm going to need you to find a new topic of conversation."
View Article#1307: “Persistently apologetic ex thinks he’s Miles Vorkosigan.”
To be fair, it was a Very Good apology. In the books. Where it happened exactly *one* time.
View ArticleIt Came From The Search Terms: January 2021
It is that time when I pretend that the search strings people typed in are actual questions. Details? What details. Mitigating circumstances? Ha! It's all assumptions, all the time!
View Article#1322: “My friend’s (white female) roommate is a creepy creep.”
"Don't touch me" isn't complicated. You know who makes it complicated? CREEPS, THAT'S WHO.
View Article#1324: “I moved out of a terrible roommate situation two years ago, but our...
"I hated living with them so I moved the hell out. What is there to 'mediate?'"
View Article#1330: “I don’t want this friend as a roommate or a summer houseguest, but my...
People who won't take 'no' for an answer often present the risk as you being seen as mean or selfish when you don't do what they want, when really, it's that if you don't say 'no' you have to put up...
View Article#1333: Multi-Level Marketing Cults & Performative Friendship
How to plot the accumulated costs of "useless objects" vs. "pointless arguments" over time?
View Article#1346: “My new ‘friend’ has alt-right skeletons in her closet. How do I nope...
"Inside this lady are two bigots, one is capable of acting nice sometimes and the other is not, don't feed either of them with your time, sympathy, or attention."
View Article#1347: “My friend asked me if we could add ‘benefits,’ I still feel weird...
"Good news, I finally persuaded my fiancée to let me sleep with other people, now we can finally act out all my fantasies about you over Zoom!" Whoa, seems sexy!
View Article#1358: GUEST POST: “I think my professors $#@%-ed me up.”
Thriller author Amy Gentry answers this letter about abusive professors who feed like vampires on the potential of their students.
View Article#1364: “Gender is elusive, and I cannot teach it to you, Mother!”
Don't let a side quest for understanding get in the way of doing - or demanding - care and kindness.
View Article#1366: “Malicious, controlling mother-in-law wants to move in”
Ultimatums are scary for a reason: Sometimes people force you to follow through on them.
View Article#1375: “Guilt trips with a side of trauma.”
Both anxious and avoidant attachment styles respond badly to pressure and benefit from structure, or, "Mom, I can't be your on-call therapist."
View Article#1379: Friend is going back on an informal housing agreement.
The problem with informal agreements.
View Article#1381: “How to make someone known for going back on their promises put a big...
The answer to "how to make someone _____" is almost always, "Sorry, you can't make anybody do anything."
View Article#1382: “My mum won’t accept anything I tell her unless it’s been...
Bold of your mom to set herself up as the sole arbiter of your life circumstances, Letter Writer!
View Article#1384: “Was I stating a boundary, or was I abusing?”
When someone is consistently mean to you, and you say "if you keep being mean to me, we might have to break up," may I humbly suggest that you are not The Problem.
View Article#1387: “I’m dating a married man, help!”
Another day, another disappointing man who deserves neither wife nor mistress.
View Article